MrTRS
12-09-2002, 01:40 PM
ARE NORTHERNERS "BLUE NECKS?" By now I'm sure that you have heard all
the
Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at
their
Northern cousins:
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF:
1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside."
2. You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicey!
3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"
correctly.
4. For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to grits.
5. You don't know what a Moon Pie is.
6. You've never had an RC Cola.
7. You have never, ever eaten okra, fried OR boiled.
8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are
on
road trips.
10. You have no idea what a polecat is.
11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
12. You don't have bangs.
13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
14. More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the
same prep school in Connecticut.
15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get
his
own TV fishing show.
16. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them
"you guys," even if both of them are women.
17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife
show.
20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
(Not to even mention duct tape!)
21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting
on
an onramp to the highway.
22. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
23. The furthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman
Marcus.
24. You call binoculars opera glasses.
25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side
of
road and stopping.
26. You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
27. You don't know what applique is.
28. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e. Joe Bob,
Faye
Ellen, Billie Jean, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)
29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make
one.
30. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
31. You can do your laundry without quarters.
32. None of your fur coats are homemade.
Ray
the
Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at
their
Northern cousins:
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF:
1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside."
2. You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicey!
3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"
correctly.
4. For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to grits.
5. You don't know what a Moon Pie is.
6. You've never had an RC Cola.
7. You have never, ever eaten okra, fried OR boiled.
8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are
on
road trips.
10. You have no idea what a polecat is.
11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
12. You don't have bangs.
13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
14. More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the
same prep school in Connecticut.
15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get
his
own TV fishing show.
16. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them
"you guys," even if both of them are women.
17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife
show.
20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
(Not to even mention duct tape!)
21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting
on
an onramp to the highway.
22. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
23. The furthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman
Marcus.
24. You call binoculars opera glasses.
25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side
of
road and stopping.
26. You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
27. You don't know what applique is.
28. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e. Joe Bob,
Faye
Ellen, Billie Jean, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)
29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make
one.
30. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
31. You can do your laundry without quarters.
32. None of your fur coats are homemade.
Ray