Moogie
01-22-2003, 02:59 PM
Got a chuckle or two or three out
of these. _I have a few comments on most of them, which I hope will
be good for a grin or two.
===========================================
35. Government worker.
(I have seen gov't workers actually working. _At least twice.)
34. Legally drunk.
(Oh, it's allowed, as long as you don't drive/walk/talk.)
33. Exact estimate.
(Had one of those once. _An auto mechanic. _He lied.)
32. Act naturally.
(Tried that. _Got arrested.)
31. Found missing.
(Tried that. Got lost again)
30. Resident alien.
(Tried that. _Mulder didn't find me. _Darn, he's cute!)
29. Genuine imitation.
(I do a pretty good imitation of normality, most of the time.)
28. Airline food.
(Eaten only by roaches and rats and desperately bored travellers.)
27. Good grief.
(Defined as given to an enemy. _I've arranged that, at least once.)
26. Government organization.
(Not an oxymoron. _Gov't IS organized to a fare-thee-well.)
25. Sanitary landfill.
(Consisting of Joey from Jersey, Frank from Chi-town...etc)
24. Alone together.
(Only when I forget to take my medicine...)
23. Small crowd.
(See 24 above)
22. Business ethics.
(No argument.)
21. Soft rock.
(Yech. _I once heard a Muzak rendition of Magic Carpet Ride.)
20. Butt head.
(Like Artesians. _"I seen 'em! _They's ugly!")
19. Military intelligence.
(See 20, 32, 33)
18. Sweet sorrow.
(No argument)
17. Rural Metro (ambulance service)
(Carries candidates for Darwin Awards?)
16. "Now, then..."
(Well, "now and then I gets an idea...")
15. Passive aggression.
(Like the guy in Tianmen Square who stood up to the tank? Brave, but not too
bright.)
14. Clearly misunderstood.
(I stood up instead of shutting up.)
13. Peace force.
(See 32, 31)
12. Extinct life.
(See 33, 34, 35 and the Darwin Award Honorees)
11. Plastic glasses.
(I wear 'em. _So what?)
10. Terribly pleased.
(Only for Cosmic Calamities and other special occasions.)
_9. Computer security.
_(It can be done. _But it IS unusual.)
_8. Political science.
_(Right up there with Social Science.)
_7. Tight slacks.
_(Can be a Good Thing, on the right person)
_6. Definite maybe.
_(I use this one all the time! _Got it from my Dad.)
_5. Pretty ugly.
_(No argument, it's an oxymoron)
_4. Rap music.
_(No argument again. _"Rap Crap" comes to mind.)
_3. Working vacation.
_(If the Prez does it, it must be possible.)
_2. Religious tolerance.
_(Guaranteed by the Constitution. _Of course, these days,
_in America, it probably IS an oxymoron.)
_1. Microsoft Works.
_(Ummm...pass)
of these. _I have a few comments on most of them, which I hope will
be good for a grin or two.
===========================================
35. Government worker.
(I have seen gov't workers actually working. _At least twice.)
34. Legally drunk.
(Oh, it's allowed, as long as you don't drive/walk/talk.)
33. Exact estimate.
(Had one of those once. _An auto mechanic. _He lied.)
32. Act naturally.
(Tried that. _Got arrested.)
31. Found missing.
(Tried that. Got lost again)
30. Resident alien.
(Tried that. _Mulder didn't find me. _Darn, he's cute!)
29. Genuine imitation.
(I do a pretty good imitation of normality, most of the time.)
28. Airline food.
(Eaten only by roaches and rats and desperately bored travellers.)
27. Good grief.
(Defined as given to an enemy. _I've arranged that, at least once.)
26. Government organization.
(Not an oxymoron. _Gov't IS organized to a fare-thee-well.)
25. Sanitary landfill.
(Consisting of Joey from Jersey, Frank from Chi-town...etc)
24. Alone together.
(Only when I forget to take my medicine...)
23. Small crowd.
(See 24 above)
22. Business ethics.
(No argument.)
21. Soft rock.
(Yech. _I once heard a Muzak rendition of Magic Carpet Ride.)
20. Butt head.
(Like Artesians. _"I seen 'em! _They's ugly!")
19. Military intelligence.
(See 20, 32, 33)
18. Sweet sorrow.
(No argument)
17. Rural Metro (ambulance service)
(Carries candidates for Darwin Awards?)
16. "Now, then..."
(Well, "now and then I gets an idea...")
15. Passive aggression.
(Like the guy in Tianmen Square who stood up to the tank? Brave, but not too
bright.)
14. Clearly misunderstood.
(I stood up instead of shutting up.)
13. Peace force.
(See 32, 31)
12. Extinct life.
(See 33, 34, 35 and the Darwin Award Honorees)
11. Plastic glasses.
(I wear 'em. _So what?)
10. Terribly pleased.
(Only for Cosmic Calamities and other special occasions.)
_9. Computer security.
_(It can be done. _But it IS unusual.)
_8. Political science.
_(Right up there with Social Science.)
_7. Tight slacks.
_(Can be a Good Thing, on the right person)
_6. Definite maybe.
_(I use this one all the time! _Got it from my Dad.)
_5. Pretty ugly.
_(No argument, it's an oxymoron)
_4. Rap music.
_(No argument again. _"Rap Crap" comes to mind.)
_3. Working vacation.
_(If the Prez does it, it must be possible.)
_2. Religious tolerance.
_(Guaranteed by the Constitution. _Of course, these days,
_in America, it probably IS an oxymoron.)
_1. Microsoft Works.
_(Ummm...pass)