Reply With QuoteI suggest we create a DC project to compute why women are so complicated.
I predict that if we brute force this issue, we might be able to get an answer in about 1000 years.
Sorry about this question but why are women so complicated?
Carlos
I suggest we create a DC project to compute why women are so complicated.
I predict that if we brute force this issue, we might be able to get an answer in about 1000 years.
I won't be here to see the answer.Originally posted by PY 222
I predict that if we brute force this issue, we might be able to get an answer in about 1000 years.
Carlos
Its ok. What we are doing right now are for future generations.Originally posted by em99010pepe
I won't be here to see the answer.
Carlos
I hope so. Maybe they can find out why women tend to transform a little problem into a big one.Originally posted by PY 222
Its ok. What we are doing right now are for future generations.
Have to go. I'll be back within 2 hours.
Carlos
LMAO
Hey Carlos
Unless you are Stoke on trent you will always get to the point of being flabbergasted by how different the female mind works.
Many unenlightened males will just say it's hormones/phase of the moon etc.
However like it or not it always takes 2 to make a disagreement, and the art of a lasting relationship is to spot it coming up and either distract the would be antagonist (whimps way out) or meet it head on and find out why it has all come to a head.
You might be surprised that it's something almost seemingly inconsequential that you did/didn't do hours/days even weeks earlier.
What you mustn't do, no matter how bad a day you've had, is to exacerbate the situation by arguing, even if you have an ironclad compelling argument it will not save you.
Mars and Venus my friend.
I live with two sisters and my mother and I really though I had the skill to understand women. I was totally wrong.
I even changed my strategy but that it's taking me down every single day.
Carlos
Just say YES DEAR and go back to crunching
A 30 year veteran here
I just wanted you to know that I'm enjoying this post immensely (I will have to have a private talk with Mrs. Fozzie and Mrs. Lauren on the side). Please carry on. I want to see what you come up with.
And did you ever notice how all women stick up for each other even if they do not know each other.>> And even if she was wrong in the first place.
Women hood is the biggest gang of all time
LOL! But of course we do! Do you really expect anything different.Originally posted by LAURENU2
And did you ever notice how all women stick up for each other even if they do not know each other.>> And even if she was wrong in the first place.
Women hood is the biggest gang of all time
Let's look at a few things. Did you ever notice, when you are in a large group, and one woman gets up to go to the bathroom, all the women at the table rise to the bathroom with her? Women have to unite to protect the world from the men.
If it weren't for women, no man would ever be able to get to where they are going because they won't ask for diretions.And would anything ever get done around the house without women? Have you never heard of the honey do list?
This is cracking me up!
I'll get right on it...once I learn C I'll make the following:
Women@Home:
A Distributed Attack on Factoring the Complicated Woman.
This project aims to find out what truly causes PMS, how many women use it as an excuse, and whether or not straight jackets and duct tape should be issued to every man.
-Jeff
[EDIT] If you're wondering it'll run on the BOINC platform but it will push all other BOINC projects out of the way and consider itself to be the only important thing. It will also gripe at you for browsing the internet, listening to music, and whatever else you may do to take away vital attention (cpu cycles) from it. [/EDIT]
Distributed Hold'em
Thats why MEN came up with GPS and now the tom tomIf it weren't for women, no man would ever be able to get to where they are going because they won't ask for diretions.
And here I always thought it was to make Battle plansone woman gets up to go to the bathroom, all the women at the table rise to the bathroom with her?
What I really have a hard time understanding is Why do women get trapped in mirrors
Just the other day in the morn rush hour in stop and go traffic a gal was putting on lipstick steeped on the gas to go and ran into the back of a truck. She had a smear from her lips to her ear and she was more worried about that smear then her car or if any one was injured I got a good laugh out of that one
Woemn they live in ther own world
Just the other day in the morn rush hour in stop and go traffic a gal was putting on lipstick steeped on the gas to go and ran into the back of a truck. She had a smear from her lips to her ear and she was more worried about that smear then her car or if any one was injured I got a good laugh out of that one
A close friend of mine was rear-ended by a Woman who had dropped Her doughnut on the floor of Her car and was reaching down trying to grab it, in stop and go traffic no less!! The worst part of it was she admitted this to Him, after She got out of Her car!! I would sure hate to see what Her Insurance rates are like!!!! Figures!!!
THE MORE I WORK ON MY COMPUTERS,THE MORE HAIR I LOSE!!
No DCP could solve "women". DCPs (Distributed Computing Project[s]) involve logically splitting up a problem into logically smaller parts, logically applying a test to data, finding the most logical answer and sending it back. IT HAS A NEED TO MAKE SENSE.
As Chris Rock says "Men will always lose arguments with women, because men have a need to make sense when they argue. Women do not. They don't let making sense get in the way of a good argument".
Men are also mostly like submarines: go into the "job compartment", shut the door, you're in your job and what's back behind the door usually doesn't greatly affect the job compartment. Go back through the door, you're home or at the gym or golfing or something. Compartmentalization.
Women are like rivers: all those emotions and feelings and discussions and arguments and whatnot from home and work and wherever all mix together like the water of a river. When you dive in, sometimes there's no telling if you'll hit a warm spot or a cold one.
Oh - and before us men start thinking we're the superior ones, realize that women have a fantastic capability to absorb something "logically" and "emotionally" at the same time, so they grasp all the nuance of a situation much better than a man. Don't mean they ain't krayzee, but....
This is a *very* dangerous thread.
Oh ya what about the do as I say Not as I do thing?
I was reading this thread to my wife, and she said :
"tell them that women always reserve the right to change their minds, and that "Yes Dear' always works wonders, but only if you follow through"
< She made me type this
That is the oldest trick around That way you have NO way to prove them wrongreserve the right to change their minds
This might work a few times on young men But I am wise to that trick
Like I said they are right even if they are wrong
All this women stuff has made me very nervous about getting married.
Maybe I should just stick to being single.
You find the right woman and it's a no-brainer
And of course Moogie is ALWAYS right. Remember that!!!
Bok
Ya but who wants to live with out themOriginally posted by PY 222
All this women stuff has made me very nervous about getting married.
Maybe I should just stick to being single.
Since even the experts haven`t been able to come up with a computer simulation of more than a hundred or so neurons from a human brain, no DC program has any chance at all and is impossible to even visualise without the use of a working quantum computer on which female brains are based.
And that is the difference, not that women are from Venus and men from Mars but male brains are based on super computers and women`s are based on quantum computers.
Also a thirty year veteran of the "Yes dear"......approach or as some say, the path of least resistance which causes less pain.
Like an ol` 8086, slow but serviceable.
One advantage of old age...nobody can tell you how much cake you can eat
My favorite situation is this:
Man: Why are you getting mad all of a sudden!?
Woman: It's that look on your face! (or sometimes they'll say the tone in your voice)
Man: What look?
Woman: You know which one!
Man: There was no look! I swear there wasn't. And if there was it WASN'T intentional.
Woman: Well now you've just pissed me off to no end and ruined my day. Thanks. Don't talk to me...
***a few minutes pass***
Woman: Aren't you going to say something?
Man: You said don't talk to you!
Woman: You should know when I want you to talk to me again without me having to say anything!
***Man reaches for the salad fork and begins stabbing himself in the head***
Distributed Hold'em
This thread is suppose to be serious... I don't know if you guys are joking or not. One thing is sure, your comments made me feel much better!
Carlos
Just say "yes, dear" and give her the checkbook, and you'll be ok.
And if you guys think PMS is bad, wait until she hits menopause.
LP- who is menopausal and has reserved the right to change her mind at a whim, but (to the surprise of many of you) has been happily married to the same man for 25 years.
After 25 years it is all down hill
Not in a bad way you both just know what to expect
All comments in this thread are DEADLY serious Carlos and we are risking our lives letting truth be known.
Like an ol` 8086, slow but serviceable.
One advantage of old age...nobody can tell you how much cake you can eat
PY - Single is good, finding the right girl priceless
but "Yes" or if it's "THAT" question then "No It doesn't"
or if they ask about "that" subject
answer: your not there is just more of ya to hug and snuggle up to...
Gentleman you see my point
Oh and Moogie is DEFINATLY always right! anyone says different had better be able to run fast, Moogie Jnr will come hunting ya as well...
Semi-retired from Free-DC...
I have some time to help.....
I need a new laptop,but who needs a laptop when you have a phone...
Now to remember my old computer specs..
I must meet her one day. I like her already.Originally posted by rshepard
I was reading this thread to my wife, and she said :
"tell them that women always reserve the right to change their minds, and that "Yes Dear' always works wonders, but only if you follow through"
< She made me type this
It's a given that a woman has a right to be the way she is. After all, we have CHILDREN...much like trying to push a watermelon through a garden hose (ever pull your lower lip over your forehead?)
We have also endure the pregnancy (ok, that's not a good term for me to use) for 9 months, and then give birth.
Now tell me, any of you ready to have a child. Personally, I think y'all would be screaming for drugs before the firs contraction hit.
Except that in your case, the garden hose was actually designed to have a watermelon pushed through it. Our hose on the other hand was not.Originally posted by Moogie
It's a given that a woman has a right to be the way she is. After all, we have CHILDREN...much like trying to push a watermelon through a garden hose (ever pull your lower lip over your forehead?)
You owe me a cup of coffee and some screen wipes.Originally posted by Digital Parasite
Except that in your case, the garden hose was actually designed to have a watermelon pushed through it. Our hose on the other hand was not.
Hehe, I hope nothing on your machine short circuited...Originally posted by Moogie
You owe me a cup of coffee and some screen wipes.
DP...are you saying that maybe NASA should be looking into duplicating the female reproductive system as a new, stretchy, durable space material??? :-p
We can finally send satellites to the far reaches of the galaxy because asteroids will be meant to push their way through without causing too much in the way of permanent damage to the machine. :-D
-Jeff
Distributed Hold'em
Because its the men that make them that way.Originally posted by em99010pepe
Sorry about this question but why are women so complicated?
Carlos
< looks over sholder > Yes of course hon, anything you say.
Bok Did your wife make you do the forum upgrade
Women are always looking to decorate this or that
LOL. Next thing we will see in the forum will be bright colors and alot of really pretty things next to our post.Originally Posted by LAURENU2
Bok Did your wife make you do the forum upgrade
Women are always looking to decorate this or that
I can see it now.... the mighty Free-DC has become the Official Womens Club for Distributed Computing.
As long as you don`t put up lacy curtains in pink.
Been through the PMS (and with both the twins....all redheads and it`s true what they say) including dinner up the wall and jug of milk poured over someones head etc ( I ran or learnt to duck rapidly being a coward at heart where women and pms come in).
Also went through the menopause with her and suffered a more or less sympathetic reaction cos I suffer a rheumatic condition causing similar (carry your own hot weather system around with you with instant on button) problems.
Still proud to say, "Thirty years and still going strong, despite all the ups, downs and sideways".
Like an ol` 8086, slow but serviceable.
One advantage of old age...nobody can tell you how much cake you can eat
Oh Shish your a 30 war vet like me
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