Hangover Ratings

[Moogie]

This one had me in tears.......
=========================

One Star Hangover (*)

No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively
well. However, but are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel
this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.


Two Star Hangover (**)

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have
the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only
increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity
pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite
havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.


Three Star Hangover (***)

Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive.
Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the
flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life
would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy
reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke
--- yet you haven't peed once.


Four Star Hangover (****)

Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you
might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has
given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't
hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies,
it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your
eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter
is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five poops you take during the
day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.


Five Star Hangover (*****)

You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the
employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every
pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of
your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the
poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue
is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the
stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate
results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare
'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to
splash the toilet water all over your butt. Death sounds pretty good about
right now.


THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Specificity
British
Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious
Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer! Isn't it lovely out tonight?
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
Sorry I'm being such a jackass.

[Richard Clyne]

:drink: :rotfl: :lmao:

Sad thing it's so true. :)

[Paratima]

LOL. Been there. Done them. Haven't done higher than a 3 for quite a while.
Maybe ya CAN actually get a little smarter with age! :rolleyes:

[Richard Clyne]

Originally posted by Paratima
Maybe ya CAN actually get a little smarter with age! :rolleyes:

Not what I've seen:)


A three has been as far as I have ever been and ever want to go. Don't know if the guys trying to play pool after I decided that the pool table would make a good bed have ever forgiven me for disturbing their game. :drink: :fridge:

[Moogie]

Originally posted by Paratima
LOL. Been there. Done them. Haven't done higher than a 3 for quite a while.
Maybe ya CAN actually get a little smarter with age! :rolleyes:

One can only hope. :D

[pointwood]

:drink:

I've certainly had at least four start hangovers several times :stretcher

Was at 3 stars this past weekend and I could imagine I would end there this week too :|party|:


I love the "things that's impossible to say" :rotfl:

[gopher_yarrowzoo]

Moggie - Sweeeet :> love it, ROFLMFAO can't say i've gotten above 2 like mind you I am just a lightweight drinker

[magnav0x]

Many four stars for me as well :(

I don't recall ever having a five star..:rolleyes: ..but do you think you would remember it even if you did? :Pokes:

[Dyyryath]

I've tried them all at one time or another, though I don't drink too often. In fact, I rarely drink at all anymore. Every now & then the guys & I will do some Goldschlager while we're in the mountains snowboarding, but that's about it.

Of course, when I was in the Army it was a different story altogether. While deployed to help the park rangers search for drug fields in the national forests in New Mexico, we were released for Labor Day weekend to go into the local town. I got so drunk on Friday night partying with the guys that I was passed out face down on the sidewalk in front of the local mall the next day when my battalion commander & his staff showed up to do some shopping. :D

[IronBits]

:lmao: :drink:

[Moogie]

I had ONE what I would call a 4 1/2 in my life. When I graduated high school, a bunch of my buddies and I rented a room at a hotel. (note...we were very aware of drinking and driving) I went to dinner with my folks that night, and then met up with my friends. We had wine, champagne, beer, and a bottle of Jack Daniels that my Uncle slipped to me when I left my house that night. :)

I have NEVER been able to mix my drinks since that day. Not even the non-alcoholic one's. I thought I was going to die the next morning, and well into the rest of the day. The problem was, I couldn't act like it to my folks. Let's get real...like they didn't know? To give them credit, they never said a word to me. But, my dad kept grinning at me all day.

[tim]

Why in hell would anyone do that to themselves? For entertainment for the rest of us? :confused:

As for me, there's way too much going on in my life to spend a night and a day as a disabled person. Or even impaired. My own brain is stupid enough as it is, I really don't need an alchohol fog to make it worse. ;)

[Moogie]

Originally posted by tim
As for me, there's way too much going on in my life to spend a night and a day as a disabled person. Or even impaired. My own brain is stupid enough as it is, I really don't need an alchohol fog to make it worse. ;)

I can certainly second that. I have a hard enough time keeping things straight in my head without the effects of alcohol. :)

Besides, kids get up the same time in the morning (o'dark thirty) whether you feel good or not.

:)