GHOST
03-30-2004, 12:24 AM
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot
>> sitting on a little
>> > perch.
>> > > It doesn't have any feet or legs.
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened
>> to this parrot?
>> > >
>> > > " The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a
>> defective parrot."
>> > >
>> > > "Holy shit," the guy replies. "You actually
>> understood and answered me!"
>> > >
>> > > "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happened to
>> be a highly
>> > intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
>> > >
>> > > "Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this, how do
>> you hang onto your
>> > perch without any feet?"
>> > >
>> > > "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing
>> but since you asked,
>> I
>> > > wrap my willie around this wooden bar like a little
>> hook. You can't see
>> it because of my feathers."
>> > >
>> > > "Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and
>> speak English, can't
>> > > you?"
>> > >
>> > > "Actually, I can converse with reasonable competence
>> on almost any
>> topic:
>> > > politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm
>> especially good at
>> > > ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a
>> great companion.
>> > >
>> > > " The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I
>> just can't afford
>> > > that." "Psssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective so
>> the truth is, nobody
>> > > wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can
>> probably get me for $20,
>> > just make the guy an offer.
>> > >
>> > > " The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
>> > >
>> > > Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a
>> great sense of humour,
>> > he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands
>> everything, he
>> sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
>> > >
>> > > One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot
>> says, "Psssst" and
>> > > motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I
>> should tell you this
>> or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
>> > >
>> > > "What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
>> > >
>> > > "When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted
>> him at the door in
>> a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."
>> > >
>> > > "WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what
>> happened?"
>> > >
>> > > "Well, then the postman came into the house and
>> lifted up her nightie
>> and began petting her all over" reported the parrot.
>> > >
>> > > "My gosh!" he exclaims. "Then what?"
>> > >
>> > > "Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his
>> knees and began to lick
>> > her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly
>> going down..."
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > "WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT
>> HAPPENED?!"
>> > >
>> > > "Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my
>> perch."
>>:harhar: :harhar: :harhar:
>> sitting on a little
>> > perch.
>> > > It doesn't have any feet or legs.
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened
>> to this parrot?
>> > >
>> > > " The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a
>> defective parrot."
>> > >
>> > > "Holy shit," the guy replies. "You actually
>> understood and answered me!"
>> > >
>> > > "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happened to
>> be a highly
>> > intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
>> > >
>> > > "Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this, how do
>> you hang onto your
>> > perch without any feet?"
>> > >
>> > > "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing
>> but since you asked,
>> I
>> > > wrap my willie around this wooden bar like a little
>> hook. You can't see
>> it because of my feathers."
>> > >
>> > > "Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and
>> speak English, can't
>> > > you?"
>> > >
>> > > "Actually, I can converse with reasonable competence
>> on almost any
>> topic:
>> > > politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm
>> especially good at
>> > > ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a
>> great companion.
>> > >
>> > > " The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I
>> just can't afford
>> > > that." "Psssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective so
>> the truth is, nobody
>> > > wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can
>> probably get me for $20,
>> > just make the guy an offer.
>> > >
>> > > " The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
>> > >
>> > > Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a
>> great sense of humour,
>> > he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands
>> everything, he
>> sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
>> > >
>> > > One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot
>> says, "Psssst" and
>> > > motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I
>> should tell you this
>> or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
>> > >
>> > > "What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
>> > >
>> > > "When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted
>> him at the door in
>> a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."
>> > >
>> > > "WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what
>> happened?"
>> > >
>> > > "Well, then the postman came into the house and
>> lifted up her nightie
>> and began petting her all over" reported the parrot.
>> > >
>> > > "My gosh!" he exclaims. "Then what?"
>> > >
>> > > "Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his
>> knees and began to lick
>> > her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly
>> going down..."
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > "WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT
>> HAPPENED?!"
>> > >
>> > > "Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my
>> perch."
>>:harhar: :harhar: :harhar: