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R.I.P
Satan and Ben and Jerry's
Satan and Ben and Jerry's in the Garden of Eden
Tell A Friend
by Linda Hoffenberg, author unknown
http://www.opednews.com
>
>In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the
earth and populated
>the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow and
>red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would
live long and
>healthy lives.
>
>Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and
Jerry's Ice Cream
>and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want
chocolate with that?"
>And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as
you're at it, add
>some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan
smiled.
>
>And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might
keep the figure
>that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white
flour from the
>wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And
Woman went from
>size 12 to size 18.
>
>So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan
presented
>Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic
toast on the side.
>And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following
the repast.
>
>God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil
>in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep
fried fish and
>chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.
And Man gained
>more weight and his cholesterol went through the
roof.
>
>God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it
"Angel Food
>Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created
chocolate cake and
>named it "Devil's Food."
>
>God then brought forth running shoes so that His
children might lose
>those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a
remote control so Man
>would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man
and Woman laughed
>and cried before the flickering blue light and gained
pounds.
>
>Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
fat and brimming
>with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful
skin and sliced the
>starchy center into chips and deep -fried them. And
Man gained
>pounds.
>
>God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume
fewer calories and
>still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created
McDonald's and its
>99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want
fries with that?" And
>Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan
said, "It is good."
>And Man went into cardiac arrest.
>
>God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then
Satan created
>HMOs.
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=>Team Joker<=
Ya gota love that Devil
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