be warned: offensive

**Anarchy99** · 11-05-2003, 05:58 PM

an ode to hate

I hate you, you know who you are and you know the depth to which I will go to express my disgust at your very existence.

I hate you, I wake in the morning with only one thought and that is the obituaries, the hope and anticipation is that of the lottery ticket holder yearning for millions. while for me it is your death, the slow and painful ripping of your limbs from torso

I hate you, I search the columns of death and decay hoping for your name and search them from beginning to end in the hopes that maybe someone worthy of the hate I have for you has misspelled your pathetic name and my joy will be today.

I hate you, the name is not there and my disappointment is that of the same lottery ticket holder knowing their joy has not come today and my hate grows even more focused and intense.

I hate you, you are an irritation that grows beneath the skin and can only be reached after the removal of flesh from bone but still you are there.

I hate you, the very thought of breath in your lungs is like burning needles in my retina, you alive is the one thing this world can not have.

I hate you, you are the genetic misfire that infects my world like a disease, a quirk of nature who's very being calls out to me for the cure that I have and its name is hate

I hate you, I have yet to dream of a day without your blood curdling screams in it, without your worthless form crawling in the waste of humanity begging me for release and I above you not willing to strike for fear that my hate would not be appeased with your simple release from my world.

I hate you, and my only joy is the sound of flesh pierced by a claw hammer as it forces its way into the skull cap and with a jerk and pull the bone reluctantly sucks away from the gray matter like botulism infected chowder pulls away from the lid of a bloated can......and another strike.....faster and faster they repeat....untill........

I awake.............with only one thought, I will kill that paperboy if he is late today, and I shake with anticipation for your name once more

I HATE YOU

**magnav0x** · 11-05-2003, 06:12 PM

A99......I LOVE YOU!

Taste a bit of your own medicine!

**RacerX** · 11-05-2003, 07:04 PM

A99 needs some advice from Jack Nicholson.

Goosefrabba, Goosefrabba!

Do you need to sing a couple of verses of "I Feel Pretty?"

**Chinasaur** · 11-05-2003, 07:06 PM

Wow.

We're not kidding today are we?

**Moogie** · 11-05-2003, 07:08 PM

**gopher_yarrowzoo** · 11-05-2003, 07:53 PM

Hmmm okay I guess someone just opened up a fresh can of Wooop A$$, nice....
Here's Johnny

**Anarchy99** · 11-05-2003, 08:02 PM

thank you, thank you very much

it is not yet my finest work but it is quite direct and well......

I really like it

and although it says otherwise it is not directed at anyone specifically :bs:

I was thinking of using it as my christmas card this year

**willy1** · 11-05-2003, 09:23 PM

Is this team always this way?

You're scaring me....

**Moogie** · 11-05-2003, 09:28 PM

Originally posted by willy1
Is this team always this way?

You're scaring me....

Heh..not even close. A99 is just our resident lunatic.

Don't be scared...we are an equal opportunity team. We accept all members...even if they do need a lot of meds to keep them under control.

Good to have you here, btw!

**magnav0x** · 11-05-2003, 09:49 PM

Goosefrabba, Goosefrabba!

**cygnussphere** · 11-05-2003, 10:40 PM

someone needs a hug

"oh so pretty!"

**Moogie** · 11-05-2003, 11:59 PM

Originally posted by cygnussphere
someone needs a hug

"oh so pretty!"

I wonder how many bars of soap he uses a day?

**Anarchy99** · 11-06-2003, 12:31 AM

I am very clean and neat, organized to a fault in my life except for finances at which I suck terribly

cleanliness is next to A99ness

**Moogie** · 11-06-2003, 12:33 AM

Do you step on the cracks in the sidewalk?

**Anarchy99** · 11-06-2003, 03:07 AM

I stopped doing that after I found out that it doesnt really break anyones back, that was just a saying

**Moogie** · 11-06-2003, 10:05 AM

Now you tell me.

**gopher_yarrowzoo** · 11-06-2003, 10:12 AM

Originally posted by cygnussphere
someone needs a hug

Time for a song...

The Hug Song - Bruce Davies

I wanna Hug when ya say hello
I wanna Hug when it's time to go
I wanna Hug, cos everyone knows hugging is good for you.
I wanna Hug it's a wonderful feeling,
I wanna Hug it's part of the healing..
I wanna Hug, cos hugging feels like the natural thing to do...

Well Dr. Fozzie, he's a friendly man, big and round as a bear.
He hugs his friends, they hug him anytime, anywhere...
People come for therapy, to drive the blues away,
Sooner or later they feel much better when the hear Fozzie say...

I wanna Hug when ya say hello
I wanna Hug when it's time to go
I wanna Hug, cos everyone knows hugging is good for you.
I wanna Hug it's a wonderful feeling,
I wanna Hug it's part of the healing..
I wanna Hug, cos hugging feels like the natural thing to do.

Now the boss of the hosipital heard about this...
He said. "Hugging is sexual submilmation, according to Dr. Freud"
Ya can lock them away,keep them down, calm them with your drugs.
slap them, zap them with electric shocks, but ya can't give them a hug.

I wanna Hug when ya say hello
I wanna Hug when it's time to go
I wanna Hug, cos everyone knows hugging is good for you.
I wanna Hug it's a wonderful feeling,
I wanna Hug it's part of the healing..
I wanna Hug, cos hugging feels like the natural thing to do...

(whistle solo)

Well the boss said Fozzie ya'll have to go, this behavour is no good,
Any deviation from medical practice could easily get us sued...
Well Fozzie doesn't feel to bad for himself, infact he's rather proud,
He's sorry for the folks that are locked away where hugging isn't allowed.

I wanna Hug when ya say hello
I wanna Hug when it's time to go
I wanna Hug, cos everyone knows hugging is good for you.
I wanna Hug it's a wonderful feeling,
I wanna Hug it's part of the healing..
I wanna Hug, cos hugging feels like the natural thing to do..

**cygnussphere** · 11-06-2003, 10:16 AM

Originally posted by Anarchy99
I stopped doing that after I found out that it doesnt really break anyones back, that was just a saying

oh and

encourage

encourage

**cygnussphere** · 11-06-2003, 10:20 AM

Originally posted by gopher_yarrowzoo
Time for a song...
The Hug Song - Bruce Davies

I wanna Hug when ya say hello
I wanna Hug when it's time to go
I wanna Hug, cos everyone knows hugging is good for you.
I wanna Hug it's a wonderful feeling,
I wanna Hug it's part of the healing..
I wanna Hug, cos hugging feels like the natural thing to do...

Well Dr. Fozzie, he's a friendly man, big and round as a bear.
He hugs his friends, they hug him anytime, anywhere...
People come for therapy, to drive the blues away,
Sooner or later they feel much better when the hear Fozzie say...

I wanna Hug when ya say hello
I wanna Hug when it's time to go
I wanna Hug, cos everyone knows hugging is good for you.
I wanna Hug it's a wonderful feeling,
I wanna Hug it's part of the healing..
I wanna Hug, cos hugging feels like the natural thing to do.

Now the boss of the hosipital heard about this...
He said. "Hugging is sexual submilmation, according to Dr. Freud"
Ya can lock them away,keep them down, calm them with your drugs.
slap them, zap them with electric shocks, but ya can't give them a hug.

I wanna Hug when ya say hello
I wanna Hug when it's time to go
I wanna Hug, cos everyone knows hugging is good for you.
I wanna Hug it's a wonderful feeling,
I wanna Hug it's part of the healing..
I wanna Hug, cos hugging feels like the natural thing to do...

(whistle solo)

Well the boss said Fozzie ya'll have to go, this behavour is no good,
Any deviation from medical practice could easily get us sued...
Well Fozzie doesn't feel to bad for himself, infact he's rather proud,
He's sorry for the folks that are locked away where hugging isn't allowed.

I wanna Hug when ya say hello
I wanna Hug when it's time to go
I wanna Hug, cos everyone knows hugging is good for you.
I wanna Hug it's a wonderful feeling,
I wanna Hug it's part of the healing..
I wanna Hug, cos hugging feels like the natural thing to do..

This thread just keeps getting better and better

oh and

encourage

encourage

**dragongoddess** · 11-06-2003, 12:27 PM

A99 is in love. All the signs are there.
:shocked:

**Fozzie** · 11-06-2003, 01:10 PM

Miss Piggy

**Moogie** · 11-06-2003, 02:50 PM

So I'm on the train going up to the city to visit a friend and I overhear a coversation between a group of guys behind me, one of whom I was sure I knew (and it turned out I did):

a guy : what do you mean you used to fancy a fraggle?

another guy: I did, she was well fit. what's wrong with fancying a fraggle?

a guy: because it's a fraggle.

A99: yeah, but I used to fancy one of the muppets

a guy: which one? I always thought miss piggy was a bit of a fox

another bloke: oh yeah! I love her long blonde hair and big pouty lips with the long eyelashes......mmmm tasty

so there you have it. muppetophilia. who'da thunk it?

**cygnussphere** · 11-06-2003, 02:50 PM

Originally posted by Fozzie
Miss Piggy

In the imortal words of Emeril "Pork Fat Rules Baby"

**Anarchy99** · 11-06-2003, 03:26 PM

I suffer from necromuppetpummellofilia

it is a rare condition in which the person suffering from it is uncontrollably driven to rip the stuffing out of dead Muppet's after decapitating them by forcefully ripping their heads off after beating them for hours

it is like I said a rare condition and the journal of medicine has a great write up on it that includes personal testimony from the E.M.T's who showed up on one scene and the reaction of the coroner who I think threw up when he/she saw the remains.

it has been considered many times for acceptance as a hate crime but since Muppet's are inanimate uneducated unfeeling pieces of scrap fabric put together from floor sweepings gathered at Kathy Lee's sweat shops in india they decided not to include it

so it is ok to go with your feelings when faced with the desire to completely tear a muppet apart for the mere pleasure of experiencing its pain and suffering and therefore we feel no need to fear legal or moral repercussions at all

/muppet theme/

its time to kill a muppet.....

its time to gut a bear.....

you get the meaning

bye bye

**Moogie** · 11-06-2003, 09:08 PM

Originally posted by Anarchy99
I suffer from necromuppetpummellofilia

its time to kill a muppet.....

Don't tell Fozzie!

**Anarchy99** · 11-07-2003, 06:05 PM

fozzie you nappy haired jim henson nightmare freak bear

I am gaining on you, getting closer everyday

pretty soon you will begin to hear me moving in the background rustling along toward you like a "B" movie serial killer stalking his weekend college camping trip prey

closer and closer until the anticipation of death is worse than death itself

when every whisper is a scream and every thud is a booming crash and conscious thought gives way to random fear reaction and direction and time are gone like the flash of lightning and clap of thunder

you run not to somewhere but from something your heart pounds and your breathing is on the verge of hyperventilation you take one last look back.........

and then it happens........

your world goes flash, and then quiet black

the stats have updated and you are roadkill, bantha fodder just plain stuffing spilled out like the innards of a cushion on the wino couch in that place where the weak go to live out there last days telling stories of how they were something once, constantly repeating their logon name like a downed pilot spouts his call sign in anticipation of rescue. but no one hears your plea for the glory of lost days

........and you pass from here to next place hearing only my psychotic laugh and feeling the tug of fistfuls of stuffing being ripped from your torso like the spray of a life giving artery splayed open for the mere purpose of seeing what would happen

I HATE YOU.......

**dragongoddess** · 11-07-2003, 09:31 PM

Was that A99 in that TV commerical trying to get milk out of a bull for his cereal.

**Anarchy99** · 11-07-2003, 11:29 PM

no I dont think it was, Im pretty sure he would have just eaten the bull for breakfast "PETA be damned raw meat for everyone"

**Moogie** · 11-07-2003, 11:32 PM

I get the drumstick!

..oh...never mind....

**Chinasaur** · 11-08-2003, 12:33 AM

Can you people say Stockholm Syndrome?

WTF are you doing?

**Fozzie** · 11-08-2003, 04:23 AM

Yeah you are gaining at 50,000 a day that should close that 10 million gap in no time.

I'm scared .....no really I am.

**Anarchy99** · 11-08-2003, 05:00 AM

its that attitude that fuels my desire to rip off your head and bury it with your stuffing in that stupid studebaker of yours

I HATE YOU

**Moogie** · 11-08-2003, 11:56 AM

Originally posted by Fozzie
Yeah you are gaining at 50,000 a day that should close that 10 million gap in no time.

I'm scared .....no really I am.

Yup..I can see that you are shaking in your fur Fozze.

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