For all who "love" computers

[edorajh]

Take heart, anyone among you who believes he or she is technologically
challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin" yet. This is an excerpt from a Wall Street
Journal article:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press
Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to
control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the
mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax
anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man
was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor
screen and hitting the "Send" key.

4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer
worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and
soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them
individually.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because
his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that
the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken
personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told
the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user
had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his
computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new
Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button.
Her response, I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened."
The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse...

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer
wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for
20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when
she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"

9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support.
I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk,
and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I
couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2"
implied removing Disk 1 first.

10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty
period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you
receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this
cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional.
It just has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand
it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the
CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.

11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The
tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the
cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."

12. And last but not least:
TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the
letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"

[matrix_fan]

good ones, where'd you find them?