A business meeting. (I laughed as hell).
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Lehare slammed his fist on the table: “Smith, let’s try to avoid this ‘sixth grade, sixth grade’. Let’s keep this civil. Let’s not make suggestions or even insult each other. Let’s maintain a constructive dialogue. The people gathered here are not a bunch of idiots, are they?”
“I agree”, Greyskin said.
Smith took out a piece of paper.
“All right then,” he said. “Let me draw this out for you. This is a line, right?”
Mrs. Redroot nodded in agreement.
“Let’s draw another one,” said Smith. “Is it perpendicular to the first one?”
“well…”
“Yes, it is perpendicular.”
“Well, you see?” Mrs. Redroot exclaimed happily.
“Wait, there is more. Now we draw a third line. It is perpendicular to the first line?”
A silence followed, the other attendees deeply in thought. Smith then answered his own question:
“Yes, it is perpendicular with the first line. However, it does not cross the second line, it’s parallel to it.”
Another silence. Then, Mrs. Redroot rose and walked around the table to view Smith’s work from behind his shoulder.
“Well…” she said, “yes, I suppose.”
“That’s exactly the problem,” Smith quickly said, trying to maintain the achieved success. “As long as there are two straight lines, they can be perpendicular. But when there are more…”
“Can I try please?” Mrs. Redroot asked.
Smith handed her over the pen. Mrs. Redroot cautiously drew several lines. “And what about this?”
Smith sighed. “This is called a triangle. No, this are not perpendicular lines. Plus, there are three, not seven.”
Mrs. Redroot looked disgruntled.
“But why are they blue?”, Lehare asked suddenly.
Greyskin supported this question: “Yes, that’s what I wanted to ask as well.”
Smith blinked a couple of times, staring at the drawing. “My pen is blue,” he said in the end. “I just tried to show you…”
“Well, maybe that’s the problem?”, Lehare quickly interrupted him, with the air of someone who just solved a major problem and is anxious to share his solution with others before he forgets it. “Your lines are blue. Draw them in red, and let’s see what happens then.”
“I don’t have a red pen on me”, Smith admitted. “But I can certainly…”
“Why didn’t you prepare then?” Greyskin reproaches him. “You knew we had a meeting, didn’t you?”
“I can tell you with absolute certainty,” Smith desperately stated, “that in red the result will be exactly the same.”
“But you said yourself, I have written it down right here, that in order to get red lines, one must draw them in red.”, Greyskin retorted. “And you drew them in blue. What does this look like to you, red?”
“That’s true actually, I asked you about blue lines. Do you remember what you answered me?” Lehare asked.
Smith got suddenly saved by Lily, who was studying his drawing with interest.
“I think I understand”, she said. “You’re not talking about color now, are you? You’re talking about this perp.. per… perpensomething?”
“The perpendicularity of the lines, exactly.” Smith looked at her gratefully. “It’s in no way related to their color.”
“You got me totally confused”, says Lehare looking from one attendee to the other. “What is it that we have a problem with? The color or the perpendicularity?”
Mrs. Redroot made strange sounds and shook her head. She’d also lost it.
“I don’t get it”, said Lehare watching his hands. “We have an assignment. The only thing we need is seven straight red lines. I’d understand if we would need twenty! But we only need seven. Our customers want seven perpendicular lines. Right?”
Mrs. Redroot nodded.
“And Greyskin also doesn’t see the problem,” Lehare added. “Am I right, Greyskin? Well then. Why can’t you accomplish this task?”
“Geometry.” Smith sighed.
“Just ignore it and get this over with,” mrs. Redroot suggested.
Smith doesn’t say a word, trying to gather his thoughts. In his mind, one by one colorful metaphors appear, that would be able to show his gathered colleagues the absurdity of the situation. But unfortunately, every one of them starts with the word “F*CK”, completely inappropriate in such a business meeting.
Tired of waiting for an answer, Lehare continued:
“Smith, just answer this: can you do it or can’t you? I realize that you’re a specific specialist, and you don’t see the overall picture. But it’s not that hard, is it? Just draw a couple of lines. We’re discussing this nonsense for two hours now and we still don’t have an agreement.”
“Indeed,” Greyskin agreed. “You keep on criticizing others’ solutions. ‘Impossible this, impossible that.’ Give us your solution then! Criticizing others is something every fool can do, if you’ll pardon my language. You are a professional after all!”
Tired, Smith went for a compromise: “Very well. I will draw you two red lines, that will be definitely perpendicular. I will draw the rest transparently. They will be transparent and you won’t be able to see them, but I will draw them. Will you be satisfied then?”
“Will we be?” Mrs. Redroot turned to Lily. “Yes, we will be.”
“But please, a couple of them must be green,” Lily added. “And, can I ask you one more question?”
“Yes,” Smith allowed her in a dead voice.
“Can you depict one of the straight lines as a kitten?”
Smith kept silent for several seconds, but asking then: “What?”
“A kitten. A little kitten. Our customers love pets. It would be great…”
“No.” Smith said.
“But why?”
“I can try to draw you a cat, though I’m not an artist. But it won’t be a straight line then, it will be a cat. A cat and a straight line are two different things.”
“A kitten”, clarified mrs. Redroot, “not a cat but a kitten. A small, cute… Cats are…”
“It doesn’t matter”, Smith sighed.
“Is there absolutely no way you can do that?”, Lily looked at him disappointed
“Smith, you didn’t even let her finish. You didn’t let her finish, but you’re already saying it’s impossible,” Lehare’s responded in an annoyed voice.
“I got her point though.” Smith replied staring at the table. “It’s impossible to draw a straight line in the shape of a kitten.”
“All right, don’t bother then,” Lily agreed. “What about a bird?”
Smith lifted his gaze and Lily understood immediately.
“All right, don’t bother,” she repeated.
Lehare slammed his hand on the table again. “All right, so what is it that we have agreed upon?”
“Seven red lines,” Mrs. Redroot says. “Two of them red, two green and the others transparent. Right? Did I understand it correctly?”
“Yes”, Greyskin confirmed before Smith was able to open his mouth.
Lehare nodded satisfied: “All right, perfect then. Back to work, colleagues? Any other questions?”
“Oh!” Lily recalled. “We also have a little red balloon. Can you fill it with air for us?”
“That’s true”, mrs. Redroot agreed. “Let’s discuss this now, just to avoid having to meet a second time.”
“Smith,” Lehare turned to him again, “Can we do that?”
“But how is the balloon related to me?” Smith asked astonished.
“It’s red”, Lily simply explained.
Smith went silent, his fingertips shaking.
“Smith” Lehare repeated his question nervously “can you do it or not? It’s a simple question.”
“Well,” Smith spoke cautiously, “In principle I can, obviously…”
“All right, go there and fill it with air for them,” Lehare nodded. “We’ll cover your travel expenses if needed.”
“Would tomorrow be okay?” Mrs. Redroot asked.
“Of course”, Lehare replied. “I don’t think we’ll encounter any problems. Well, are we done for today? Perfect! Very productive meeting. Thank you all and good bye!”
Smith blinked several times to return to reality, then he rose and slowly headed for the exit. When he had almost reached the door, Lily approached him with a blush on her cheeks.
“Can I just ask you for one more thing? When you’re going to fill this balloon with air… can you shape the balloon as a kitten?”
Smith sighed: “I can do anything. Absolutely anything. I’m a professional.”
Originally Posted by Death
Because it would have been round-house-kicked long time before 
where are the good old ones?
